Day 2: I'm Rubber You're Glue

Today was my last day at Kirk Duncan's Master of Influence seminar in Salt Lake. AMAZING!!!

What I'm going to share today is based on what he taught us today.

Remember the phrases our parents taught us when we were younger and other kids said mean, hurtful things to us?

- Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

or MY favorite:

- I'm rubber you're glue, anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.

Apparently, as we see all over social media today as the evidence of bullying increases.... that was a LIE.

Sadly, rather than teaching our children EFFECTIVE tools and techniques that will help them deal with the bullying they receive in real life and online, we keep passing the blame to other parents who "should teach their kids to be nice."

Guess what? Even if you teach your children the "Right Way" they still have their agency and will do whatever they want and they will do whatever they want.

So rather than handing the power to help your child's self-esteem increase to the parent(s) of the school's bully/ies YOU can take back your parental stewardship of EMPOWERING your children with the right tools and techniques so that they don't internalize the negative, bullying comments they hear/read online.

In a future post I hope to go into more detail about just how exactly I have used the idea I share in this video to overcome negative incidences I have experienced in my life - but for now, since my brain is fried from 3 days of 8 hours/day of information overload, this is just a quick preview/synopsis.

On a FINAL note, something I have been getting into my head quite a bit over the last 9 months is that I am the ONLY person who can make myself feel bad. If given the proper tools and techniques as children, then the phrases I listed above ARE true since I really am the only person who has the ability to make myself feel bad. Other people can say whatever mean things they want to towards me or about me, but the ONLY time it is TRUE is if I believe it is true. Next time you find out someone said something mean to your child and your child repeats the statement to you, do what Byron Katie teaches and ask them, "Is it true?"

If they say "yes" then reply with, "Is it ABSOLUTELY true?"

I'm guessing more often then not your child will recognize that the mean comment hurled at them is NOT "absolutely true" and you can then proceed to have your child write down the comment on a piece of paper and watch as you burn it. Then work to have your child learn to let go of the emotion.

Forgiveness is a VERY important part of this step, so teach your child to forgive the bully. It is a LIE on the planet today that forgiving someone means that what they did was "okay" or "not bad". That is NOT true! Forgiveness has NEVER been for the offender's sake, it has ALWAYS been for the victim's sake. In an article earlier this year about Elizabeth Smart she said that the night she was reunited with her family her mother told her, "He took nine months of your life away, don't let him take another minute away from you." and she taught Elizabeth to forgive Brian David Mitchell so that he wouldn't have any more power over Elizabeth's life. IT worked! If Elizabeth Smart could learn to forgive a man who did as awful things to her as he did for nine months, then I know that teaching your child to forgive the bully will EMPOWER your child just as it empowered Elizabeth.


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