The heavy pit in my stomach

I was feeling so worked up last night after watching the celebrations on the White House lawn over Bin Laden's death that I didn't go to bed until 4am this morning. That's lunch time in Germany.

I slept for just over 2 hours when Tips Jr. came in and told me that Miss Tips was crying, so I got up and brought her back to bed to nurse while I slept off and on for the next hour and a half while Tips Jr and Tips were up.

I haven't had much sleep and my heart feels heavy and there is a knot in my gut.

I was going to till my yard today, but instead I am inside typing up this note.

When the two airplanes struck the Twin Towers, the 3rd airplane struck the Pentagon and a 4th plane crashed in Pennsylvania on 9/11/2001, I knew the world would never be the same again.

With the death of Osama Bin Laden I feel that the world will never be the same again. I don't know if it will necessarily be worse or better, but things will not go back to how they were before. We will not regain our innocence because of Bin Laden's death. We will not lose our cynicism of the world.

I agree with Nephi's words when he was commanded by the Lord to kill Laban but didn't want to (1 Nephi 4 - http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/4.13?lang=eng#12), Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief.


The only problem is that I don't think Bin Laden's death is going to bring the people of the world any closer to Christ or God, especially my fellow American citizens.

I worry about the reason people are 'celebrating' his death - and for the little bit of celebration I saw on the news last night I thought to myself, "We may as well be dragging Bin Laden's body through the streets and dancing on it the way some people are carrying on about his death."

Perhaps if his death had occurred 4 or 5 years ago before the birth of my own children I would feel differently, but experiencing the birth of my children drove deeper into my soul the sanctity of all human life.

Maybe the people who are having raucous celebrations also support abortion. I don't really know and I can't judge.

Ironic that 66 years ago yesterday was the day that Adolf Hitler committed suicide. Similar type of man died then, but it was he who took his own life and while that signaled the beginning of the end of the war and people celebrated - I think it must have been different. I guess I should ask my Grandma if last night's news compared to the news of 66 years ago. I'm sure she was relieved and excited that her husband would soon be able to return from war.

But American people 66 years ago were not as desensitized to war as we are now. When my Grandpa returned home from the war he NEVER talked about it. He did not want to relive the horrors of war in all its gory details. It was years before my dad and uncles learned about the heroic deeds their father did as a solider in that war. Now teenage boys, young men and 30-something adult men play Call of Duty and Medal of Honor video games. There are volumes and volumes of various war movies with action and violence tailored to the inherent interest of men. Some of these boys have grown up and enlisted in the military. They have been deployed. They have seen horrendous things. Some of them come home and suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some of them commit suicide. I don't think this happened as much after World War 1 and 2 when there was still a respect for human life and a level of basic decency. About a year ago a young man that is a family friend told us he was going to enlist in the Army. In further conversation with him it became apparent to me that he was basing his desire to enlist with thinking it would be like the numerous violent video games he has played as a teenager. This just shows the naïvety that I think pervades among many of the young people in our society. Once they get into actual combat they discover how truly ugly war is. It shocks them because they were not expecting it to be so real. They were thinking it would be more like Hollywood.

But maybe what bothers me the most is that the moral fabric that used to hold our society together has decayed so much that we think it is acceptable or should be acceptable to hold raucous celebrations in praise of Bin Laden's death.

The best captain in Book of Mormon history was Captain Moroni. He lived about 72 BC. The following was said about him:

And also, that God would make it known unto them whither they should go to defend themselves against their enemies, and by so doing, the Lord would deliver them; and this was the faith of Moroni, and his heart did glory in it; not in the shedding of blood but in doing good, in preserving his people, yea, in keeping the commandments of God, yea, and resisting iniquity. Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men. (Alma 48: 16-17; http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/48.16?lang=eng#15)

Almost 500 years later another Nephite captain, Mormon (prophet, historian, Nephite Leader) wrote his son Moroni (whose namesake was Captain Moroni). At this point in the Book of Mormon history the most wicked had been killed during the Savior's crucifixion, the Savior had visited and ministered to those who were left in the land and the people had lived together in peace and harmony for about 200 years before pride began to creep back into their thoughts, mindsets and actions. Once pride entered the picture their decline was rapid and within just a few generations both sides were morally depraved people.

For so exceedingly do they anger that it seemeth me that they have no fear of death; and they have lost their love, one towards another; and they thirst after blood and revenge continually. (http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/9?lang=eng)

Before yesterday I willfully ignored that I was participating in such behavior. I didn't want to be honest with myself and confess that I have been guilty of perpetuating the loss of love among my fellow men. I have been cynical of politicians. I have made snide remarks. I have taken offense at others mockery of public figures I have supported. I have engaged in heated debates full of emotion on both sides. I did not want to let the other person 'win' and have the last say and so I continued to engage with the intent of saving face by explaining what I believed had been taken out of content.  

I have not admitted to anyone else or myself that until now, I have contributed to the divide and polarization we are experiencing in our nation right now.

If I really want Bin Laden's death to mean something to me, then I want a more unified country. I want the citizens and politicians of this great nation to stop bickering, quarreling and putting up stumbling blocks in each others' paths. I want us to be as unified tomorrow as we were on 9.12.2001

If we truly want to bring peace to the world, then we need to be at peace with one another.

My favorite song for the last month has been Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" and I have listened to it quite a bit over the last month. Watch it or listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps

Here are the lyrics:
I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.

I am making a change. Our nation and world will never be united if I continue to engage in mocking those who have differing opinions than my own or being cynical of politicians. From here on out I will discuss only the issues. I will not engage in mocking or being cynical of or malign any elected figure, even for gaffs. It won't be easy to change overnight and I hope that any of my friends and family who read this will be understanding when I slip up and make a mistake as I most certainly will. But I know that it is possible for anyone to change. If it wasn't so or if I do not really believe that people can repent and change, then I should not have celebrated the Savior's Atonement, death and resurrection last week on Easter.

Jesus taught:
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. (Matthew 5: 43-48)

In the past when things beyond my control have happened the only thing that helped me find peace was to turn to the scriptures, more especially The Book of Mormon. I had started to tag this note on Facebook with the names of friends and family members, but decided I didn't want anyone to feel that I was being preachy at them because what I have learned in the writing of this note was mostly for my own good and hopefully what I have sorted out in my head and heart will help others unify and heal as it did me.

I am going to learn to love my enemies and those that I disagree with. How about you?

Comments

Darryl J. Root said…
Great commentary Mrs. Tips! I was one who celebrated and rejoiced. As a military man & man of Christ, I should of looked at it just like you did. I am ashamed of how I reacted. I agree with you on this one.

your friend,
Darrl

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